Wednesday, July 8, 2009
tmr gonna be my si qi siaaa... haixx.wish myself good luck... after tmr will be competition.. arrhhhh... worse thing is my dragonica got problem siaa... i cant play since yesterday... damn sad... haixxx... just now thought of smth to say but cant rmb le... haixx... ohh yaa...
topic: to listen..
i love to listen to people talk about their problems... but i dont really have a solution for them cause i sucked at that... love listening to dad and bro's business talk... very interesting... and i'll ignore or get irritated of anyone disrupt them or me... hahas... dad always gave the long lectures...sometime i love listening to them... unless the topic is about meee... i cant stand people talking about me... cause i'll think too much then feel that i'm the one who is the one getting the bad stuff... and i'll start my emotional thing again..zzz... den dad will ask and i cannot answer... one example which is about school money siaa...long time ago de.... cause sis got extra school money.. den i feel like why nv increase mine.. even bro's school money is much more than mine.. although i think my money is enough for me to use.. but i'll think if you give me more i can save more... now i cant really save money cause nv get my school money in time... den i save money people come borrow from me.. sometimes parent borrow from me.. so i was thinking if i were to have more school money... i can save more and i can lend more... money is important to me siaa... cause i dont like to lend from people.... i feel very bad.. but if i lend people money they nv return i also dunno how to ask... only put it inside meee... haixx... if i were to get back all my money i can like have so much more savings... kinda like money face siaa... back to what i said earlier... i wanted to complain to dad about the school money thing cause i think i disadvantage... i went up to him.. seat on the bed and watched him watch tv... he know i wanna say smth... but i cant say it out... i just stared at him and he asked again.. thought to myself.. it's smth small i dont needa complain... so i just keep it inside me and didnt open up to dad and i said nothing.. den everytime i keep smth inside me i will let it out by crying... the tears will just come dropping down.. cant stop...zzz... den dad know smth's wrong...kept asking and i keep mum about it... he told me to msg him siaa... den i feel that i have to but it's a small matter.. there's a struggle within me.. dad so xin ku i still fan him for such thing... seat there for like more than an hour... he let me go sleep and expect an answer from me the next day thru sms... i said ok... but i didnt sms him for nxt 2 days and he went asking me again... denn i just say it out... i super stupid de... why i cannot express myself better... only know how to cry.. i cannot do anything also...zzz...thats why dad bu fang xin me.. he got tell me b4.. i'm just too weak... little things can hurt me like that... dad got say b4 he old that time wanna go wan you shi jie... like around the world to see see look look with mum...
omg.. random... i'm fat...zzz...
10:45 PM
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