__ these memories..

haixxx.. dunno whats happening to me this few days.. talking nonsense only... i think i cant talk properly anymore.. stumble in my words lots of times.. dunno what i talking also... maybe i shld just keep quiet... haixx.. my hair haven dry cannot sleep... tmr lab test and go ngee ann kongsi siaa... how to go when my dad cannot fetch me... arhhhh.. how do i survive alone??

11:14 PM

firstly, i feel very bad for not able to go out with my sec school mates... it's been long since i went out with them.. school stuffs killing me this year... haixx... told them will be free during my school holiday.. but i cant cfm again.. cause i think will have wss.. and it's super tiring... im now on my bed using laptop with battery.. cause really super tired walking all day long... luckily got HUIQI's dad de taxi i can get home so soon... she always complained about her father.. but when i really actually met him.. he was like so fatherly... they chatted so friendly.. really like this kinda father... they talk to each other in english siaa... so surprised... not like i dont like my dad la... i loved him :D... we bought 4 super expensive strawberries... 2 each.. she gave his dad 2 and i gave my dad 1 :D.. last one i ate le... hahahahahassss.... each berries cost like 1 plus la... hahas.. but it's worth it... super duper sweet :D and bigg...

secondly, she pushed everything to me again.. my sisters say so too.. not like i only one who's saying about it lorr... idoit... dunno tmr how siaa... haixxx... den the stupid guy hor make SIEW KHIM do the video editing.. she put edited by SIEW KHIM at the ending but he dont want to show teacher lo.. feels like she did nothing like that... den when the group members presenting.. he like rephrase what they trying to say... make like they dunno how to say siaa.. stupid guy...

lastly, i dont want le...

11:00 PM

haixx.. it hurts so much that i have to let it out.. used my sis's laptop to blog..zzz... i dont know why hurts... but i have to stop my tears... hope everyone's gone... like to be alone tmr.. but got so much to do... for CS and all.. there's nothing i can do about le...

11:00 PM

haixx... stress plus stress... gonna have php test when i just learn it and not good at it... really like know nuts about it... gonna die like... zzz... tmr's CS also CMI.. my group like "i dont care" and "sure can de" attitude.. so stupid.. haixx.. i totally no confident for it... we've done nothing and tmr is the day.. they seem like dont wanna go early to do.. arghhh!!arghhh!!arghhh!! just kill me.. so many things to do.. so many test.. i haven start anything..

sorry.. haixx..

8:25 PM

sorry for my attitude.. i dont know why i act like that... zzz..

11:22 PM

lolss... forgot to mention.. my hair arhh can die siaa.. so dry den keep curling de... dont like... love it after bathe.... :D

7:21 PM

why am i having headaches everyday.. shld be the whether ba.. everyone's sick siaa.. my sore throat have been like this for weeks.. having cup noodle now cause dinner looks not appetizing... she does it again today... haixx.. thinking of next sem makes me sad.. hope i'm still in the same class with my "bestie"... :(

7:16 PM

eeeeee.... hate her even more today... so fake siaa.. and she actually talk about that... feel disgusted.. other than that nothing much le.. today so many sick people beside me.. even the teacher's sick... haixxx... so many unhealthy people... tmr will be another day i'll feel like dying... got IP quiz which i dont have confident in and CCNA quiz which i have so much confident that i will fail.. hope teacher never walk around when we doing den i can go check online also.. like the first time.. i will choose jap next year!! wahahahahaha

5:36 PM

i'm trying real hard for everything but my mind doesnt want to do it.. really feel like quitting wss and ccna.. and focus on my studies and jap for next sem plus the funn i missed this sem.. never studied so hard ever in my life before i guess.. but feel like im kinda slacking in ploy... the reason i want to score well --> during first sem i scored real well.. for me la i feel is the best siaa.. cause i think after primary 2 i never score A anymore.. so when i saw i can score well i think why i dont want to score well? but now i feel like it's too tiring to keep studying when i dunno how to apply it in real life.. and what i learn is what i forgot..zzz... so like no point...

want to forget but it still float somewhere in my mind..

the more i see her the more i hate her.. the fake face she had on her.. her heart is not as pure.. it just disgust me... yuck.. and i see her almost every single day.. what to do? i wanna quit!! i dont wanna see her anymore!! dunno why i just wanna hate her for life.. when ever she whisper with her friend i think she's saying smth bad.. and i hate seeing her expression like that.. eeee....

i'm bad :(

11:48 PM

eeeeeeeee..... embarrass myself today again :(
thanks huiyu for all your stuffs siaa... you say you if you die you will give me de stuffs.. now you move house you giving me le... thanks lots.. although my house no place to put le... i will stuff everything in my room de...:D thanks lots.. bro's making pizza now :D.. bread kind... hope it's nice :D super hungry:(

11:17 PM

wahhh... blogger is kinda back but.. still kinda weird... did smth weird again today... outside my house siaa... i wanted take my key to open my gate.. but guess what... i took my tumbdrive and started to pull open my door... den i laugh at myself... took out my key.. put back my TD and unlock the gate...opened my wooden door my cousin's in... tv on so loud i got frustrated.. maybe cause PMS also... haixx... kinda bad day... cramps alittle...

6:22 PM

haixx... i like not enough sleep when im sleeping alot... habit of waiting for sms in the morning have to be kicked.. know that there wouldnt be one i'll still take a little peek... looking and looking everyday i did... have to kick it i sure have to kick it... next week is stressing 2 role play back to back...zzz... prepared = null; ... must stay away from haz... he's doing it again...

10:27 PM

omg im so sleepy that i knock myself with my laptop battery...arent i dumb...zzzz...

11:41 PM

hungry siaaa... after i finish eating... really bad sore throat... brought a bigger bottle to school today... and still not enough... came home super thirsty... normally i cant finish a cup of water de.. den i actually finish a cup siaaa... super stupid also siaa... come home that time i see my house dont have my sis de shoe... den i search my bag for key.. den i look up while searching i was thinking.. is this even my house.. den i think i so stupid..came in and locked the gate... den when i enter my house... and enter my wooden door.. den wanted to close.. den i open again to see if i lock door le ma den i close again... so stupid... arhhh... hungry...

9:06 PM

feel like eating.. but dont feel like eating... but i'm hungry.. and i have to last till 8.. zzz... i hate being questioned. am alone again..

10:09 AM

arhhhh... today gonna be a tiring day... got extra jap lesson tonight.. so sian... today until 8... sorry for being harsh siaa... am a little angry thats all.. today's gonna be a little sucky... yuck... feel like skipping NSIM... arhhh... i need a happy life :D

10:05 AM

tmr's going to be a weird day... sitting alone makes me feel insecure... i have to have some one i'm close to beside me... if not i will have this wall that block me from others where i cant communicate with them... i will keep doing things and in my own world... haixx... hated being alonee... howwW??

7:53 PM

haixx... dunno why now so easy get thirsty de... last time i cannot finish my water de... now drink until not enough... go home keep drinking also no use... it's been like that for 2 day.. and my throat hurts..

7:48 PM

i'm gonna get so stressed up soon... suddenly got so many things to do... really sudden.. today den teacher tell us got ccna2 de test coming soon like next week and next next week... for both theory and pracital.. worse thing is we haven even started learning things and we are suppose to do the tests... following two weeks is stressful siaa... got jap written test 2 and jap role play on the same day... den NSIM CT is coming soon also... friday must present dsa...zzzz.... next week com skills role play... arhhh... it's driving me crazy... soo soo many things to do and i haven started... zzz....

7:40 PM

another lonely and boring day... today nv really learn anything i'm just following what teacher clicking cause installing adobe in my laptop... tmr needa hand in IP but i not sure if mine's really correct... friday must present DSA but i cant rmb what the codes meant.. friday also taking back the dsa test result.. heard that our class did well.. at least no one fails.. gotta convert and write out my role play script siaaa... no one to ask if i not sure... and my partner like cmi le.. teacher say he fail jap le.. if he do well in role play maybe can at least pass... smth's wrong with the blogger's new post web page... the alignment abit weird now.. and the box where we suppose to type in is like so small... i not used to it... another tired day.. zzz...

4:51 PM

today very blur and tired siaa... woke up and went to school an hour earlier siaa... cause stupid new phone was set to a date later.. den alarm was set to an hour earlier for tuesday... den only notice when i going to take second bus.. went to school and nothing to do...

10:17 PM

ha! i finished my IP :D.. but im super bored.. no one to talk to... chat i mean... everyone's busy... waiting for a friend to come online... zzz... thought friday would be an off day cause one teacher cannot make it... really wanna go out.. but it seems like everyone wanna do project no one to go with me :D... sadded.. tummy got worse... zzz.. sore throat... keep eating heaty and spicy stuff.. no wonder tummy not good..zzz... am thinking about lots of things this days.. hope i dont think too much... eeeeeee.... kinda love fan fan's songs recently... abit more of chi-na now...

loved this

一段情

两颗心

三个字

是我爱你

无聊时就

溜出去

期待每天在一起

巴不得粘着你

就这样的不分离

十全十美的爱情

从一到十等于我和你

9:58 PM

still having stomache and slight headache.. haixx.. morning wake up.. body aches... old liao siaa... finished IP lab5 lab6 still got errors.. hope everything can finish by tmr....

7:38 PM

The one hour post

--time out--

7:43 PM

there will be a 1hour post later... and it last for only an hour.. those read it, read it.. those who dont, dont.

feel that i'm tortured physically and mentally... have aches all over this morning... not feeling well for the past few days.. tummy ache and slight headaches.. for sure i dont have fever... now having to go for extra lessons for wss... 2 more hours per week... in total of 9hrs per week... compared to my normal lesson if i hadnt take that would be 8 hours.. but not as stress... im tired... got to do my IP today... learned php today... just the very basic... kinda interesting... for now...

7:32 PM

feeling abit sad... lost guild war and the guild castle gone :(... although it has nothing to do with me but kinda feel sad hearing it.. real sad... tmr's school already.. so not wanna go school tmr... i really shld quit wss... so many hours for it... zzz... extra 2 more hrs per week... i hope holiday can be holiday again... school day just be school days... IP is sooo dead... and i'm going to bed...

12:05 AM

no specific toipc today... just thought why would people need to wake up.. it's so tiring... dont feel like waking up just now... but i have no choice... it's so boring lying down... after you wake up you still have to go wash up.. so ma fan... if not it's so dirty... haixx... lots of work to do before you can go out or fully awaken... not sure if i shld go back to play dragonica... since i stopped for so many days i got no urge to play it... cause others lvl is increasing and i've stop there for llike a few days which i can lvl up like 6 lvl or smth... cause laptop crash halfway while i was playing.. i'm so scared... now that i got my laptop back i lose my projects... idiots... i'll have to do it again... i shld have taken the project out of the vmware after every work so as to not lose it... but nothing i can do to change the fact le... have to redo.. and i dont have the time... talking about time... coming wed is the day the end of the competition.. wanted to ask my friends whether we shld give up since we haven hand up our particulars and we haven finish it... talk about sleeping... always wanted to stay overnight at people's house.. cause i think is kinda funn.. but always i cant cause dad dont like... that was this once i stay over at friend's house.. this once.. we had funn talking and all fell asleep... talking about this i rmb another time i stayed overnight i cause of school event... half of our class stayed overnight at one of our friend house.. we practice dance for our school musical... and 10 of us slept on the same room... can say bed... you cant imagine how we sleep... it looks funny and my whole body aches.. and i dont dare to move about... scared i wake the rest up... we slept for a few hours b4 we went to the venue where we performed... our class sucked at it... our class was broke into 2 groups.. and the first grp went up and the sang super soft.. cause it's a 90 hours music marathon.. we cant have songs stopping.. they got scolded and we have to be louder... it's really a 90 hour music marathon non-stop... at night if you go there there's still people singing... why have this event you thought.. just because my school is 90 years old :D.. hahass.. thats all... and students have to sing over night...worse thing is... after little sleep.. and my performance... i got cca... photography... i have to stay there got like another 2-4hrs to take photo.. den i saw my art teacher.. which is a japanese... she brought her whole family there.. wearing kimono and all.... her kids was cute :D.. and if i nv rmb wrongly the whole family sang too... hahas.. then there was this timing where teachers brought their child,babies on stage.. everytime we went there we will go buy sweets siaa.. cause last time only got there got candy empire...

dad just came back form work.. he worked overnight siaa... now he wants to sleep on my bed cause my room cold.. --> aircon still on... my two sis inside sleeping siaa... pigg... so late le still dont want wake up... ask my dad to bathe b4 lying on my bed.. hope he doesnt squash my stuff on the bed... mum went out to eat.. think with my other grandma and aunts... go eat big bowl porridge... as for me.. my maid's out.. and i got nothing to eat.. worse thing is i'm hungry.. maybe ask my ah ma help me cook kuea... hahas.. shld i ask now or later when my sis wakes up.. den can ask her cook tgt.. of not must cook double times... at this time my small cousins shld be coming soon... so ma fan to take care of them.. just because of their father bu zhen qi and the mother have to work.. 'always says work but dunno where she goes'... theirs father's an idiot.. can look for my dad for money when he can go work for himself... worse thing is he had a china mistress.. and his wife tou kau us... now my mum had to pay for their debts.. thats why my mum hates them... the baby is super scared of my mum.. when my mum look at her she goes quiet and look down like she'd done smth wrong.. she's just a baby like 3 years old now... she knows that when my mum is home she cannot make too much noise... unless got people make her.. kind of hate their family too.. come disturb my life.. when want use com they will come interrupt.. den my dad help them who help us.. last time my dad almost bankrupt that time all run away.. now my dad business better le all come ask for help.. even his brother ran away siaa.. den my dad help his brother den we suffers... no school money.. or say late.. cause my dad help my idiot uncle... my mum ask me take money from dad.. cause she says he got alot money give people you go take from him la... but when the time come when i really need it she gave me :D... i was like ask for what.. den she says dont want arh.. den she wanted to keep it den i stop her and take from her :D.. she's really not scarey and everyone's afraid of her... den she buy things always ask my opinion.. like clothes... i will always suan her de... like she ask me nice or not i sure say not nice... i told her lots of times she ask me i sure say not nice.. den she still asks.. told her before if want ask den give me choose which one i think best.. like she choose a few den i tell her which one better... if not she will buy none... and ytd mum bought her cake she always wanted to buy more than a year ago.. she always sees the cake and walked away cause it's expensive for a cake this small... now got offer and it's 19 bucks... the cake is still as small :D.. maybe i shld go eat her cake now.. super hungry :D... trying to dl all my need programs need for school... got one i waited super long and i dl the wrong one...zzz....

it's a super long post indeed..

10:54 AM

today's topic is about shopping :D.. thought of it when i'm bathing... never enjoyed shopping... cause like very boring looking at stuff i cant buy or i dont buy... even if i buy it i regret it when i got home... went out with mum today... she always ask me wanna buy this wanna buy that.. my answer will be no... i dont want... all that... she keep asking me to buy things but i'm ok with what i got... she dont really ask my fat sis cause fat sis will always want to buy stuff... so whenever i went out with mum i buy food or sweets and she will allow.. unlike my sis... :D... the only time i really enjoyed is this year b4 CNY when we were choosing clothes for one of my friend... i really enjoyed... i didnt know shopping can be that funn... the joke of that day was...singhui was changing pants in the changing room.. and someone else was too... we thought she was at the very first room... cause who will go to the last room siaa... den we was like keep asking the person in the first room ok le ma cause we thought it was her... den she nv even reply so we didnt know she's at the last room... until she walk out of the room, me and huiqi broke out into laughter.. damn funny.. laughed for a few days... hahas...till then, i nv enjoy it anymore up till noww... the only one time i enjoyed... was as tiring wonderful day after school...will nv forget i think...

12:40 AM

really bored now... got nothing to do... finished naruto-bleach... not really entertaining this week... and i'm cold here... sis on air con.. and she went sleeping in the room... which has no air con... loved westlife songs :D being random cause i'm listening to it... very fan arhhh... i want go out... i want walk walk... haixx... i dont want to be at home rotting... but i'm lazy to move away from where i am.. hope bro can fix my lappy by tonight.... if not tmr i may be going to acer service centre which is super far from here... may take more than an hour to reach there.. sian arhh... stoning sitting on my sofa alone listening to songss... and cold... what can i do??

8:47 PM

viewed my friend's blogg.. got lots to say but i'll cut short... they've change alot... and i'm happy for them :D... jia you for your studies!!

7:59 PM

today sucked... spoil my laptop... and stare at it for the whole day... i mean stared at different laptops whole day... trying to fix it... and i cant.. bro helped hafway and he's gone... again... bro ask me to transer files into hard drives and i think he's gonna recover it... he actually torn oprn my laptop to take the hrd drives out... transfering files using my sis's laptop i stared at the no. of minutes... going super slowly bar... and waited.. staring and stoning... what can i do... i cant recover my IP project cause it's in the vmware.. which i need to use the laptop netwrok places to really retrive my file.. but i cant now using my sis's laptop.. darn... i've got to do it again...zzz... wanted to lvl 3 lvls today and i cant lvl even once.. hated it... want to do smth but cannot... abit nothing to do today... at least i finished my heroes 3... nathan died.. and slyre thnk's that he is nathan.. kinda irony... gont this feeling that slyre will wake up some day and thinks the he's not nathan and kill his "family"... stupid thing is i have to wait for season 4...zzz.... iss's laptop is super slow which i hate alot... i prefer doing things fast.. :D.. damn bored now.. idiot.. arhhh!! HOW?? wanted to try copying the vmware things into my sis laptop and try open.. and you know what? her laptop TOTALLY... TOTALLY no more space... i very pei fu ta... gan bai xia feng... really you know... haixx.. damn bored... really nothing to do... i go see got naruto-blechto watch not...zzz.... stupid day... zzz....

7:37 PM

tmr gonna be my si qi siaaa... haixx.wish myself good luck... after tmr will be competition.. arrhhhh... worse thing is my dragonica got problem siaa... i cant play since yesterday... damn sad... haixxx... just now thought of smth to say but cant rmb le... haixx... ohh yaa...

topic: to listen..
i love to listen to people talk about their problems... but i dont really have a solution for them cause i sucked at that... love listening to dad and bro's business talk... very interesting... and i'll ignore or get irritated of anyone disrupt them or me... hahas... dad always gave the long lectures...sometime i love listening to them... unless the topic is about meee... i cant stand people talking about me... cause i'll think too much then feel that i'm the one who is the one getting the bad stuff... and i'll start my emotional thing again..zzz... den dad will ask and i cannot answer... one example which is about school money siaa...long time ago de.... cause sis got extra school money.. den i feel like why nv increase mine.. even bro's school money is much more than mine.. although i think my money is enough for me to use.. but i'll think if you give me more i can save more... now i cant really save money cause nv get my school money in time... den i save money people come borrow from me.. sometimes parent borrow from me.. so i was thinking if i were to have more school money... i can save more and i can lend more... money is important to me siaa... cause i dont like to lend from people.... i feel very bad.. but if i lend people money they nv return i also dunno how to ask... only put it inside meee... haixx... if i were to get back all my money i can like have so much more savings... kinda like money face siaa... back to what i said earlier... i wanted to complain to dad about the school money thing cause i think i disadvantage... i went up to him.. seat on the bed and watched him watch tv... he know i wanna say smth... but i cant say it out... i just stared at him and he asked again.. thought to myself.. it's smth small i dont needa complain... so i just keep it inside me and didnt open up to dad and i said nothing.. den everytime i keep smth inside me i will let it out by crying... the tears will just come dropping down.. cant stop...zzz... den dad know smth's wrong...kept asking and i keep mum about it... he told me to msg him siaa... den i feel that i have to but it's a small matter.. there's a struggle within me.. dad so xin ku i still fan him for such thing... seat there for like more than an hour... he let me go sleep and expect an answer from me the next day thru sms... i said ok... but i didnt sms him for nxt 2 days and he went asking me again... denn i just say it out... i super stupid de... why i cannot express myself better... only know how to cry.. i cannot do anything also...zzz...thats why dad bu fang xin me.. he got tell me b4.. i'm just too weak... little things can hurt me like that... dad got say b4 he old that time wanna go wan you shi jie... like around the world to see see look look with mum...

omg.. random... i'm fat...zzz...

10:45 PM

awake today and tummy not feeling well... bro smsed me and ask what i wanna eat... i actually said laksa cause i was craving for it the past weeks... eat le abit regret..zzzz... feeling cold now... maybe cause this few days rainy season... den alot of stupid mosqito keep sucking my blood... did nothing whole morning knowing that i have smth to do... i hate to do double time so i'm lazy to do....zzzz.... next outing i wanna go science centre anyone interested come find me den go tgt... since everyone so busy maybe go on a saturday or so.. that's is if anyone read this...

10:19 AM

just handed in my wss project.. never really complete... dont wannt do le.. anw tmr's the deadline... at 12 noon... felt abit off load.. now got one thing lesser to worry about..zzz.. next to worry would be wss lab test... tmr must try out the test... so zzz... am lazy to do it.. but i have to... almost forgot siaa.. got one more wss hw i haven complete... after test got FlashAward competition to worry about... duedate is next wed siaa... hope can finish... wahh.. am hungry now...zzz... after that competition will be IP and DSA projects.. CS report writing and role play.. both sacrey siaaa... den ending would be examss... should be end of sem le.. wahh den shiok... den shld be quitting wss.. plan for holiday.. if have.. today got letter for the ngee ann kongsi one... so go for interview next sunday at 930.. hope i really get the money.. hope the interview not so bad... i'm scared...zzzz.... and sleepy now... tmr will be a better day.... dragonica hard to level.. lazy type le... tv very xi ying me...

12:25 AM

i've got lots to say
but i dunno where to start
mixture of feelings
lots and lots of them

throat's not getting better
not enough water intake
something's really wrong with me
but i'm not sure what is it

many thoughts came thru my mind
while i'm on my way home
can i make a change
so i'll be a better person

why am i always pretending
telling lies i asked myself
excuses and excuses came out
"it's just a way of protecting myself and not hurting others" i thought

memories from the past came into my mind
real bad and real good ones
friends that i once had seemed so far away
maybe it's my fault i told myself again

too much feelings i'm confused myself
i dunno what to say
is the world better if we're not here i thought
much more carefree lesser conflicts
wouldn't it be better?

why am i so emotional
i hope no one ask
cause i'm always like that
even when i didnt notice

hope everything will be better
i'm being random again
something's really wrong with me
i hope no one ask.

5:41 PM

feeling sleepy and hungry.. loves tonight temp and whether.. super cooling... can just sleep in small living room siaa... waiting for bro to come out of toilet.. decide to blogg... nothing much i've to say... real sleepy... arhhh he's out.. i'm going in le... SORRY X.X mybad..

12:55 AM

very sad today siaa... dunno how i'll score for maths... this time no confidence that i'll get good results... damn stress for studies now... have an enjoyable bath just now... playing with water siaa.. and my hair... i turn turn turn cause very smooth... used dove conditioner :D... hated the word suit you...and good for you... idiot... when i fought with my friends they always use that.. idk why... super fustrated now... zzz.... and hor got one paparazzi cum fan keep reading my post siaaa.... ya... it's YOU... hahas... haixx... want quit wss dunno shld not... idk what to choose... was thinking why stress myself when i can be carefree... now i do everything must think of wss.. want drive den want book cannot also dunno got wss not... zzzz.... nope i do well in dsa when i nv really study hard for it.. i got a hack care brain now... i dont care like that... haixx.... hope my grade will not drop :(.... hope i get the scholarship.. den i will be happier... today like kinda broke... brought coins to school still not enough.. lucky b4 i leave house i go back take my coin bank money.. if not today no food to eat le.... i lead a saddistic life...

5:05 PM

hahas.. am eating noww... add-ons to what i said just now.... i always ask my sis or cousins to help call bank or shop that kind... i cant do it.. idk why...talking to people idk is scarey...even if it's not face to face...i feel more free by typing to people i guess... haven start anything today must buck up... faster eat and start!!

11:51 AM

always wanted to blog but i'm too lazy to do so... alot of things happen... got extra a week holiday i thought but actually the week is kinda bad cause there's lots to do and to finish... by today some more.. lolss... den i still blogging siaa..zzz.... started a game dragonica something like mapple but i think more fun cause got people teach me how to play and the graphic like 3d de can move front and back den walk pass the "monsters" will not get hit.. also unlike maple la.... kinda moody today... dunno why also... actually woke up at 8 plus den really wanna wake up do work le but i snooze until like 2 hours passed... kinda wasted siaa... every morning when i bursh teeth idk why got this reflection time for myself.. suddenly will think of it whenever i brush my teeth.. kinda werid huh... ytd's theme was about socialisation... wanted to blog ytd but same was lazy.. today different cause lazy to start work... think i finish slacking le den i start... back to topic... ytd's socialisation... hmm.. what did i think of... ohh ya... about people... i realise whenever i met someone "new" they will be under my "i hate them list"... after we communicate they will be like "not so bad list"... den people i can be open with is "i love them and care about them list".. kinda funny huh...den people i talk online i kinda open to them de.. but they are not in any list... cause when i really met them i cannot be open... that's ytd's topic... today same kinda same topic siaa... siann stm cannot rmb... ermmmm...what my sis say is true siaa... i cannot rmb things in short term longer de i can depending on what things.. i think not impt de i can rmb impt de i cannot.. hate this brain of mine... hope i can change with someone will long term memory... still cant rmb siaa... oohh yaaa.. rmb le... faster jot down later i forgot again.... ermmm....ohh.. about friends... i feel like i kinda loner now... holiday stay at home study and watch videos... no one to go out with.. even my best friends... maybe i'm really too lazy to do so.. how can i be like that siaa... i play alone i study alone i eat alone i watch tv alone... maybe i'm autistic... like khim khim.. at times... today damn warm.... stay at home also very hot... tied my hair today.. look super funny and i dont like.. but who cares.. no one around... i'm a LONER :D.. maybe i like it... idk also.. i dont uds myself siaaa...so stupid hor.. the hard part about tying my hair is.....i cant find the rubber band... lOLSss... i know my both sis and mum got... i go lend from them (w/o permission) cannot find siaa.... den i ask maid also dunno.. den got this drawer my maid always anyhow put things inside de i so see alot of thingss siaaa... den rubber band hair clips pen pencil all that can find in there.. whenever we cannot find things we need go there sure can find de.... suddenly think of my weight siaa... i go measure... weighing machine abit spoil spoil siaa.. think no batt le... first time weigh like 47.8 second and third like 48.2... -.-''...but better that time i keep eating snack and supper all that 49 plus siaa almost 50 AGAIN.. dunno why i cant get below 47 and above 51... my range jumps around there niaa... let x be the r.v that i'm going to weigh.. 47>x>51 is my weight... next time idk my weight den need put in form den i write like that the best...hahas.. enough of chatting i go pee eat abit den start work le... wasted like 35min plus to write this...zzz..... have to finish ex3 by today!! jia you!!

10:45 AM